Cry
by dreamingwhileawake13
Summary: Nileyish. LEGAL! No last names! After their Nick and Miley's breakup. Miley's POV. Set at an awards program. I need him. I love him, and he doesn’t love me.


"So, what happened between you and Nick," the reporter asked, a fake smile plastered on her make-up covered face.

"Oh, well, ya know. We just lost the magic. We were fighting all the time, and it wasn't that much fun," I said lightly, using the same story as always. I prayed they believed it. I turned to look at the two dark-haired girls, attired in heavy gowns, who were whispering and looking right at me. I knew they were talking about us. I pretended not to notice.

"Well, thanks for talking to me today," she said. As if I had a choice. I smiled.

"No problem," I said.

I hurried away, anxious to get inside and away from all the questions. That's when I saw him, looking fabulous in a tux. My ten thousand dollar dress seemed drab compared to his getup. Brown eyes met blue, and I stared.

I tried to pretend I was looking at someone else. It wasn't him. Not the man I loved. Not the man I had spent so much time blissfully happy with. Not him. Not the man who had two brothers I loved. Not the man who, with his brothers, had turned away. I lost my best friends to that man. They tried to keep in touch. They hated it just as much as I did. But, they had to be there for their brother. I respected it. But still, I missed them. I missed those boys. And I missed that man.

It wasn't them over there. I struggled to convince myself of this. It was three complete strangers, laughing and smiling with the reporters.

"Miley!" I heard someone call my name. I turned to find a male reporter coming towards me.

"Hello, Bryan," I greeted him.

"So, everyone wants to know, what happened between you and Nick," he asked. The same question. Over and over again.

"We just grew apart. Things cooled down," I said, lying again.

"And how are you feeling," he asked. What was I supposed to say? I'm terrible. I put on this smile everyday so that I won't break down and lose it. I've got a broken heart that's struggling to beat, and I'm suffocating, dying every day. I have become whom I swore to never be, heartbroken and barely breathing because of a break-up. I am pathetic.

I need him. I love him, and he doesn't love me.

"I'm fine. We're still very good friends," I replied.

"That's good. Best of luck on your next album," he said.

"Thanks," I replied, smiling again.

I walked away, pretending I was enjoying this. Pretending that I was having the time of my life. I realized I was in front of about ten cameras, so I posed and smiled. Fake. Everything I am now is fake. I glanced over his way again, but dropped my gaze. The shoes shimmered before my eyes. For a moment, I couldn't remember whether they were sparkly or if I was crying again. I fought the tears back, feeling the familiar ache at the base of my throat.

I rushed into the giant theatre, and took my seat. I listened to the murmur of about fifteen different conversations. Finally, the lights dimmed and everyone sat down. I looked at the three empty seats next to me, and wondered who would be next to me.

"Hey Miley," someone said. I turned and found Vanessa behind me, with Zac next to her. His arm was around her. I envied her. I envied him. I envied them. The look in his eyes; the look in hers. I swallowed and smiled again. Fake. She didn't deserve it. She was a friend. She deserved a real smile. They all did. But, that smile was no longer around. It had been permanently deleted from my mentality.

"Hello," I said, hugging her.

"Break a leg tonight," she said.

"Thanks. Good luck on your nomination," I replied.

"Thanks," she said, and sat down. I turned to face forward, and noticed that the seats were taken. I looked. I almost gasped, but caught myself just in time. I tried to breathe but I couldn't. I opened my mouth, trying to get air to come in. It didn't work. No. It couldn't be. Not them. Finally, I sucked in, getting air to my lungs, which were screaming in agony. That pain was familiar. My heart felt it for a while, and then it dulled. Now there was nothing. I needed something. Love. Hate. Something to remind me that I am still among the living.

"Hey Miley," the male said gently.

"Hey Joe," I said. He hugged me.

"Miley," Kevin said, and hugged me as well. I looked at the third brother, who was staring at me. I averted my gaze and looked at the two older brothers.

"You're performing tonight, right," Joe asked.

"Yes," I said. Simple Answers. Nothing too complex, or I won't be able to talk at all.

"Us too," Kevin replied.

"Break a leg," I said.

"You too," Joe said. Then, the host appeared on the stage and we sat down.

I looked over to my right. He was in the seat farthest from me, and was staring straight ahead. His hair looked great, a bit shorter but still shaggy. I took a few deep breaths, and felt a few tears fall from my eyes. I wiped them away quickly, hoping my waterproof mascara stood up to its label. I couldn't believe it. I was stuck next to them. With every second that ticked, I resisted the urge to stare at him. I resisted the urge to burst into tears as well. Now, I did feel something. Something I didn't want to feel. I wasn't sure what it was. I didn't hate him. I didn't want to love him. I couldn't.

About an hour into it, I felt someone tug on my arm.

"It's time to go get ready," a man dressed in all black said. I nodded and got out of my seat.

"Knock 'em dead, Miles," Kevin and Joe whispered at the same time. I smiled. Fake. I tried to ignore the third voice missing. Every night on tour, all three would whisper that to me right before I went on.

"I always do," I would whisper back.

"I-" the man pulled me away before I could finish our routine. I felt tears fill up in my eyes. I moved backstage, and dressed quickly, running the lyrics through my head.

"You're on," he whispered to me.

"How's everyone doing tonight," I yelled while running onto the stage. The faceless crowd clapped.

"Okay, we're gonna bring it down a notch right now," I searched for his face and was shocked when I could actually make it out from the giant crowd. I found it, staring intently, his eyes glossed over. As if I was just another act. As if I didn't matter.

"Ummm, so this is a song I wrote about," I took a deep breath as my voice cracked. People looked at each other, wondering. Wondering what I was going to sing. Wondering what would get me worked up.

"A very special person," I finished, looking at him. Concentrating on him, hoping for some sort of expression. I took another deep breath and listened for my cue. When I heard it, I began to sing, praying I could do this.

"If anyone asks

I'll tell them we both just moved on

When people all stare

I pretend that I don't hear them talk

Whenever I see you

I swallow my pride and bite my tongue

Pretend I'm okay with it all

Act like there's nothing wrong"

His face had taken on a weird expression. It was almost as if he was in pain, but didn't want to show it. Kevin and Joe looked hurt, and afraid. They were hurting because I was hurting. I looked back at him, singing my heart out to him. Putting it all out for thousands of people.

"Is it over yet

Can I open my eyes

Is this as hard as it gets

Is this what it feels like to really cry

Cry"

I swallowed heavily and ignored the tears that welled up in my eyes. I can do this. I can do this.

"If anyone asks

I'll tell them we just grew apart

What do I care

If they believe me or not

Whenever I feel

Your memory is breaking my heart

I pretend I'm okay with it all

Act like there's nothing wrong."

I was fighting the tears so hard now. Struggling and barely winning. They were gaining strength, and I needed to finish the song. I tried to move my gaze, hoping it would help, but I couldn't. My eyes were trained on him and they refused to move.

"Is it over yet

Can I open my eyes

Is this as hard as it gets

Is this what it feels like to really cry

Cry"

They were fighting hard and I was losing. But I pressed on, determined to finish my song.

"I'm talking in circles,

I'm lying, they know it

Why won't this just all go away

His eyes now held pain too. I hated to see those brown eyes like that, pained and hurting.

"Is it over yet

Can I open my eyes

Is this as hard as it gets

Is this what it feels like to really-"

They won. The tears spilled over my eyelids, and I couldn't finish. I stood there, sobbing. Then, I ran off stage. I ran into the nearest bathroom, where I knew no one would be. I collapsed, unable to hold it in. Unable to fake it anymore. I sat there, against the wall in a fancy bathroom letting it all out. I let out the heartbreak, and I let out everything I had. I showed myself for the first time in a while. For the first time since it happened. I became the true person I was, or what's left of that person. I had nothing left to lose, and nothing to gain. There was no worry of anyone trying to help me, or ridiculing me. No one to condemn or save. There was no one to hear me cry.

**Credit for the song: Cry by Kelly Clarkson. Please review!**


End file.
